she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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