Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
