Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
