I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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