Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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