Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I had to cum in my sink.
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