So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
