I cannot find my penis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
