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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
