And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
