So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
