I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
