He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you would pick up someone in the library
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
