Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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