The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
