Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
