she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
