scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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