Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
