I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
