i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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