I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
