Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize