butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
