I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Let's get the cat blown out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
