the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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