Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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