I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
