It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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