who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
