If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
