Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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