My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and she was petting her beer can
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
