i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
