left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
