There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
