i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize