There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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