So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
