Nicole vs. Life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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