It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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