I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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