I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
