i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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