I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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