They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
