it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
