not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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