Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
