You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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