Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
