You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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