So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
