You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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