i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
