I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize