Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
