I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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