Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were destined to go to rehab together
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
