There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
