brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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