im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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