we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
