we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
