she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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