so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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