Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
