Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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