I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
