Umm I'm too high to move.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found the puke drawer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
