My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
