I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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