Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
