That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
